There two different photos, one a record shot of BIF, the other a full action shot, how you crop them or edit them is personal, but yes the second one i would make it a tighter crop and lighten it up just a little. -0.7 ev has kept the highlights safe for you.
Flip the image back and forth see if it has any effect, take a little more off the back of the bird on the right attacking just in front of the vertical tree trunk is good. Defiantly top an bottom.
Only a suggestion you need to play with it so you like it.
The first one crop a whisker and edit slightly with pro contrast in Nik, play with flipping,
it has a good angle and direction, it has a story, shows some environment, its one you would hang on the wall, the second one is a competition shot.
Only an opinion
To the majority of public viewers seeing both these photos on display say in a exhibition would understand what they are looking at, they would see the action, pose, understand the message, connect with the story, see the WOW, that's 90% of the job done, and more than likely they wouldn't go into or care if the photos were technically correct, ie: sharp, focused, exposed etc.
I base this on watching the public reaction (sales awards) at many exhibitions i go to where entries are from beginners, enthusiasts and professionals.
I also see this a lot at markets where photographers have a stand, I see technical flaws instantly but i ignore that completely if the subject composition connects, is strong or evokes emotion, or has a WOW factor, in fact i even buy the odd piece simply because i like what i see.
The professional would see any faults immediately and pass unless the composition is compelling and super strong, the enthusiast would focus on the composition and subject and maybe judge the technical aspects to their best ability, the public would look at the WOW and decide if they like it or not, and wouldn't really look or care about the technical aspects as they mostly wouldn't have the skill sets or eye, they either like it or not.
In camera club competitions your two photos may get a little constructive criticism from a judge on the technical aspects, but that's how we learn, telling someone what they want to hear to be nice doesn't really help.
Only an opinion