Questioning Giving Up Photography

[Warren D]

Every so often, I question whether or not I want to find something else to do with my free time. Lately, those feelings have become stronger. I think we all go through similar times and in the end, I know it's a decision that only I can make. With the money I've spent on gear alone, I could have paid off my mortgage and had a decent retirement account so that I could leave a job I don't like. Just in the last 5 weeks alone, I've invested some 50-60 hrs of weekends mostly standing around waiting for something to happen. Granted, there were about 45 minutes of decent opportunities (only a few of which I could take advantage of) but it seems like what I remember is the time spent. This doesn't include the drive time to and from which runs about 45 minutes each way nor the post processing time to cull and file the few decent shots I get. I'm not sure what else I'd do, but it seems like the juice isn't worth the squeeze.
I know I can't get the killer shots every time, maybe my expectations have risen or maybe the environment has changed but it seems like several years ago, there were more places with activity than there are today. Folks ask me what I do with my photos and I don't have an answer. For the most part, nothing. After I die, I suspect they will all just disappear other than a few that might linger in the clouds.
I suppose the purpose of this post is to find out if others have felt like this and if so, how did you resolve it? (I assume if you gave up on photography, you wouldn't be here, right?)

 

[Charles Loy]

You sound burned out. May be time to toss in the towel. I hope not.
I've been involved with photography since 1978, never had a single thought of walking away. I enjoy owning the equipment. The motivation part of the photo is the serious effort of finding the proper subject and making that correct exposure. I like the challenge, and accept that it costs time and money.
I have friends (we all do) that have several guns, but never use them. Still, they buy another. My neighbor mentioned that my camera and lens cost a pile of cash. I replied that I use it daily, and I notice your motorboat sits 50 weeks a year and cost 9X the price of my camera. Life goes on.

 

[JP Onstwedder]

I’ve not felt the negativity to the same extent as you describe, but I have had similar reactions to disappointing shoots. Stuck in a small city with few opportunities for different types of photography, it took me a while some months ago to get motivated again. I would argue for making some kind of change, whether taking a break, looking at past successes to remind you how nice it can be, finding someone to go out with or set a common challenge or a common goal, maybe find some youngster to teach; or picking up something challenging that is related to photography but doesn’t revolve around taking pictures (printing?); whatever it is, do something with that feeling. Writing that post was a great step in the right direction!

 

[Steve]

This may sound odd coming from me, but photography has never been my driving force . I love being outside and sharing what I see with others and photography is a means to that end.

I first picked up a camera and started doing nature photography at 10 years old. As I got older, I wanted to pursue photography as a career. Although I'd get the occasional article or photo published in my late teens, it wasn't enough to call it an income.

What's the difference between a pizza and a professional photographer? A pizza can feed a family of four.

At the time I worked at a camera store and there were lots of wedding / portrait photographers. Long story short, I figured if I liked photography I must like all kinds of photography. So, I started doing wedding, portraits, sports items, senior portraits, you name it. It didn't take long before I started to resent seeing appointments on the calendar but the money was good so I kept at it - for too long.

Eventually I burned out (surprise) and went on to something else completely different. I actually sold off all of my camera gear and never wanted to look through a lens again.

Then, about three years later my wife and I were in Las Vegas for a trade show and I stopped by Red Rock canyon with our point & shoot. I started taking photos and had one of the only epiphanies of my life. The reason I loved photography before had very little to do with the photography - it had everything to do with being out in nature, seeing wildlife, and just enjoying the outdoors. Photography was the vehicle I used to share that experience with others. Once I realized that, I immediately went out, got new gear (digital this time) and have been happy ever since.

Sure, it can get discouraging when you go out for hours and not see or get anything, but I tend to enjoy my time out as much as I do the photography. However, it's also easy to get too wrapped up in the "goal" and ignore / take for granted the experience itself.

Hope that helps or makes sense

 

[Backdoor Arts]

With the money I've spent on gear alone, I could have paid off my mortgage and had a decent retirement account so that I could leave a job I don't like.

I grab this not to be judgemental but because the last part resonates with me, and the first part concerns me. I'll out myself first as a grand gear accumulater. First as a musician and now as a photographer. Over the course of 30-odd years guitars, basses and amps came and went, one sold to pay for (most of) another, and then musical equipment sold to finance camera gear. Ten years ago when I first picked up a DSLR I was happy with a Sigma 150-500mm figuring I'd never drop multiple thousands on a long prime, and yet here I sit with multiple 300mm PFs and a 500mm. Music and photography are both great passions that I've been able to make money doing (I said money, not a profit), but it's the job I hate that provided for them, but never at the cost of providing for the future (for which I have my wife to thank). The plan now is to supplement that retirement income by monetizing my photography, but that's all bonus - no pressure.

It sounds almost like you mortgaged the future hoping the investment in gear could get you somewhere you could quit that job and make your future in photography, and that puts pressure on you to get something each and every time you invest 50-60 hours out in a field, and that for sure is going to burn you out. They say, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life", but they never tell you that doing what you love can often turn what you love into something you hate if it doesn't work out. I played in bands for 4 years after college while working a full time tech gig and it came to the point where I had to pick a road because I couldn't do both. To this day I thank God I chose not to stay in music, because I never left it, I just never put pressure on myself to force it to be something other than something I loved to do when I wanted to. Again, I don't know all the details and neither do I fault you for any decisions. I only say that when getting the shot is something required and not simply a reward then you need to take a hard look not just at photography but everything else you've got going.

 

[DRwyoming]

I suppose the purpose of this post is to find out if others have felt like this and if so, how did you resolve it?

Absolutely, I've had ebbs and flows in my photography but have always found reasons to come back. Sometimes life intervenes and sometimes my interests just shift and my camera gear sits idle but I've had periods, sometimes for years, where I didn't shoot seriously or sometimes didn't really shoot at all.

If I'm just in a bit of a rut and feel like I'm shooting the same stuff all the time I'll dream up a project that requires new approaches or learning some new technique. That's how I first explored multi-flash hummingbird shots or working from a blind for particular species, focus stacking or even astro photography. All of those were initially projects I embarked on to shake things up and try something new and breathe some life into my photography.

But as Steve and perhaps others have said the key for me is tuning into why I like capturing images. Sure I've sold plenty including events and weddings and ran a stock and editorial business for a number of years and actually earned a living doing it but in the end the business aspect wasn't what got me up at o'dark thirty but it was being out in nature or out doing sports stuff with friends (mountaineering, climbing, backcountry skiing, backpacking, cycling...) and wanting to capture some of that experience leads me to carrying a camera.

Hard to say what motivates you or what would reignite the fire but I wouldn't stress over being interested in other things and taking some time off. The knowledge and skills you've acquired won't go away, the technology may evolve and require some re-learning (how I stumbled across Steve's blogs and videos a number of years ago when coming back to nature photography) but the basic photographer you've become (and you've shared some great work here) won't go away if you take some time off but then get a hankering to get back out and shoot.

 

[Rustic land]

Sometimes you need to step away from it to see what you really love about photography, I felt similar to you about two years ago and instead of selling my gear and leaving photography for good I decided to go to the places I would normally go to take images but without my camera gear, I did this for about 6 months and gradually I would feel myself wanting my camera with me more and more because I would see a great landscape scene or spot some wildlife that would have made a great image, I found myself mentally composing shots and looking for different angles.

Then finally the temptation and the passion came back to me and I grabbed my gear and fell in love with photography all over again, I also had a new perspective on my craft and started taking some incredible images because of the mental compositions I had done when I was walking and hiking without my gear. I now take a break every now and again for a couple of weeks or more and do the same and I find that it gives me more inspiration and rejuvenates my desire to get more incredible images and find new ways to better my photography.

 

[Rogereh]

I've decided years ago that I like the research and purchasing of cameras and gear more than taking photos. I know this because my wife has pointed it out to me several times over.

What's discouraging most to me is it's almost impossible to make a unique photo that someone else hasn't already. With millions of photographers (picture takers, etc.) what you end up shooting has been done by others many times before. So I end up feeling that I'm only making copies of other's work even though to me it's one of my "originals". I've been hooked by the photo bug since pre-teens but only got into wildlife photography since I retired, stopped hunting and put away my guns. Now I hunt with a camera and could no longer think of taking a life with a gun. Same experiences, but no one gets hurt (except my bank account).

 

[Abinoone]

I wholeheartedly agree with Steve. For me, being in nature's glory and watching wildlife is my primary motivation - getting a few good photographs is only a side benefit. I'm relatively new to serious photography but I've always loved the outdoors - camping, hiking, snowshoeing, wildlife watching, etc. I've also been a lifelong sailor but just last year decided to give it up and sell my boat because I was tired of maintaining it, and of sailing mostly alone (my family is grown). Maybe this is how you feel about photography? The way I look at it, life is too short to do anything that you don't truly enjoy. Sometimes change is a necessary part of continuing to grow.

Best of luck with your decision - be sure to let me know if you'd like to swap your photography gear for a beautiful sailboat

 

[brachypelma44]

It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to get killer results because you have a lot of time and money invested. If you're not having fun, taking a break for a while can be a good thing (especially if it helps you get better life balance and be happier/healthier overall.)

If not doing anything with your photos bothers you, you can change that. Enter them in state fair photo contests, set up a website where people can buy prints and/or downloads, print out a few of your favorites and hang them up around the house, see if your local library displays photography at a certain time in the year, see if there are any local galleries that you could display them in, see if there's a local photo club, etc.

 

[Warren D]

Thanks to all for your responses. The earliest photo of me with a camera in my hand was when I was 18 months old, over 63 years ago. I've always found that photography went with whatever hobby interest I had at the time and I've had times where other things got in the way or I just burned out and put it down for a while. I've made a couple of bucks from time to time but found early on the pennies weren't worth the time and aggrevation so the day job has always paid for the hobby. Seems like more often lately I'm hearing "You should have been here yesterday" or "you left too early" and I seem to be missing the few times where something of interest is occurring. I've learned that when something isn't working for me, it's usually because I should be doing something else.
I know it's the nature of my subject, osprey lead boring lives for the most part. They spend their days mostly sitting and conserving energy. This time of year they seem to be a little more active re-building their nests and mating, but fact is, they mostly sit. Years ago, the herring would run upstream and the resultant feeding frenzies could be observed daily, now it seems like if it happens at all, it's a minute or two here or there and you have to be lucky enough to be there.
For the most part, I prefer to be out in nature though standing ankle deep in marsh muck for 12 hours a day is just one reason I'm questioning what I'm doing....

 

[Woodyg3]

You could try some different types of photography. Recently I just walked around downtown and took photos of old town, which is way different from my typical wildlife shooting. It kind of recharged my creative spirit, plus I made use of my 17-50mm that usually just sits in my camera backpack.

 

[StephenP]

Take a needed break it will help a lot. I started photography around 1974. In the 45+ years since then, I've gone years using my cameras and years without even looking at them. If you want to talk about putting in hours and hours of effort, with little to show for the work. Try my other career. Jazz Guitarist/Private Teacher! At one time I practiced 10+ hours a day, taught for 3-4 hours, and played Gigs that paid $35-$50 for 3 hours :( Covid has destroyed the music industry. Now every world-class musician offers lessons online that you need to compete with for new or retaining students, ie. why study with me when you can study with Pat Metheney, Mike Stern, Kirk Hamett just to name a few. So I think you can see there's a lot of things we do because we love it and if we really think about it. We would think "This is Crazy! What am I doing this for?" In the end, the answer is always, we love it, and we NEED It! The secret is we don't need to do anything all the time. Remember when the Big rock groups would put out a new record then tour for 12-18 months. Then, after they would go their separate ways for a year or two before playing again? Unless you use photography to pay the bills, don't overthink why you do it. Just let how you feel dictate whether you do it or not on any given day.

 

[Nando]

This topic resonates a lot with me. It seems you're burning out, and the best thing to do is step aside for a while.

Back in September I started to feel overwhelmed at my work (working in a software company, doing many thing, support, QA...), part due to my lack of skills in managing time, part due to my boss that can be an ******* (his own words). I did present my resignation at the time, but he did not accepted and I ended up taking 2 weeks vacation.
Went to a hotel at a mountain and the entire time I was in there I was just thinking... I whish I had a camera with me to photograph this beautiful scenery.

During my teens I fell in love with photography, but then life started to happened and I ended up losing interest. Now, 20 years later, that passion came back and for the most part, I looked at it as a refuge from my work. Walking in nature, not thinking about problems at work, release the stress levels!

Then I came back to work, bought the camera and started to make plans to go out, getting out of the house, walking in nature, forget about the work...

In December I burnout, got near a nervous breakdown due to work and this time I had to resign since I could no longer sustain the situation. Not only mentally but also physically since I started to get a lot of health issues due to the stress and anxiety levels I had.

Photography has been my refuge ever since. Decided to take this year off. Don't want to think about finding a new job, nothing, only walking in nature, taking photos, continue to learn about it.

It seems you reached your limit regarding photography. You might not have an ******* boss and too much work that you can't manage it, but it seems you are forcing yourself too much to get something from your photos that you might not be able at this moment in time.

Step aside for a while. Pursue other interests you might have. Came back in a couple of months. See how you feel it when you came back.

 

[Capturingtheunseen.com]

I agree with Steve. Photography is something I do when I'm out enjoying nature. If I take zero images it's still a good time. I'll never give that up.

 

[BirdDogDad]

Beautifullly written comments in this thread, with a number of profound and deeply personal insights that resonate with me, as well.

I question whether or not I want to find something else to do with my free time.

As a Zen master would say, If you've asked the question, you already know the answer. That doesn't mean, though, that selling all your equipment and walking away is the solution. That is not a solution, merely an avoidance of the problem.

I've had many interests and hobbies over the course of my life, and far too often my obsessive personality drove me to extremes that soon turned enjoyment into a sense of obligation. A bit of obsession is a good thing, as it provides the desire to learn, to improve, to practice, and to be good at what you do. Too much obsession, though, quickly leads to burnout and sometimes downright anger. One of the few kernels of wisdom I've acquired at my advanced age is the realization that often the harder we try, the worse the results. I've found this to be true in sports, in music, in photography, and even in personal relationships.

A tennis pro once told me "you're trying way too hard." How is it possible to try to hard, I asked him. I thought the whole idea of sports was to try harder than the next guy.

"When you try too hard," he said, "you introduce far too many negative elements into your game...tension, tightness, frustration. None of these will result in better play. It is impossible to play well if you are not relaxed and enjoying yourself." He was right.

Like water, most things in life will eventually seek their own level. We are the ones that upset the balance. Leave your cameras alone and avoid hours in the muck for a little while, and I can almost guarantee that you will soon arrive at the proper balance between "I want to do this" and "I should be doing this."

And, to continue the water analogy, money spent on equipment is the proverbial water under the bridge. Do not beat yourself up over that, since with hindsight, we would all be wealthy. Money is replaceable. Time is not.

Good luck. Many of us have been where you are. The good news is that the proper balance will come to you, if you let it. Just like a tennis ball.

 

[DavidT]

What an interesting thread and how I can relate to the OP and many here.

I started in photography around 12 years old, shot for the high school year book all 4 years and shot my first paid jobs at 16. By the time I graduated high school I was making more money doing photo shoots then most adults at life long jobs. Fast forward a few years of doing photojournalism, wedding photography and about anything anyone would pay me for I was making a solid 6 figure income at 21 years old with a camera. I had all the latest gear, the first 3 Nikon F5 bodies in town with all new glass (I moved from Canon F1N bodies) and had everything from fisheye to 600mm at the time along with a host of lighting gear etc..

The funny thing is I really enjoyed wildlife photography but hardly ever did any. I was so busy chasing my next job or shooting I never did anything I liked to do. My hobbies at the time were shooting guns, bass fishing (I had a Ranger bass boat and fished as much as possible), I grew up hunting and when not fishing I was hunting but often thought how I would rather be shooting ducks with a camera and gave up hunting in my mid 20's. Its funny to this day I still have all the same hobbies and spend more money at different times on these hobbies then most. I tend to go big or go home when I get into something.

By the time I was 24 I was so burnt out on photography I hadn't taken a picture for personal enjoyment in over a year. If I wasn't getting paid to shoot I was out doing one of my hobbies. I had to make a judgment call and decided to stop doing professional photography and sold all of my gear. To say the least family and friends were shocked! I took all the money I had saved and the gear I sold and bought a business. After a few years owing that business a multi billion dollar company bought my business and franchised it. I work for them still today .

Fast forward from age 24 to 44 and I had not owned anything more than a point and shoot (Nikon of course lol) and an iPhone to take pictures.

Years of working, getting married, moving across country a few times for work I still shot guns a lot and went bass fishing as much as I could but haven't had a boat for the last 10 years or so.

Getting married as most can imagine changed my free time and my work/life balance. Over the years I looked for something that we could do together, my spouse likes shooting guns but not at the level I do. Same as with fishing its enjoyable but not at the level I like it. One thing we have in common is we both want to travel to experience different things. I have traveled to 46 of the 50 states and a few places out of the USA but work travel vs vacation is very different.

I was like hmmmm if I am going to spend all this money traveling (we are considering buying an RV so we can take the dogs and I work from home so weeks away is possible) I was like I should get a camera again. Well folks that has been a deep rabbit hole to say the least lol. I tend to over research buying new stuff to the point I just dive in. Well I did that in Nov 2019 and dropped money on a full Nikon kit. Now I am dipping my toes into the Sony pool so you can only imagine the research and dollars spent. I have a 600f4 to buy next month and other than maybe swapping a few Nikon for Sony kit I am done with GAS and we are planning trips. COVID kind of put the breaks on travel but the good thing is I have spent the last year and half relearning most of what I already knew and learning digital, post processing etc..

To address more of what the OP asked I promised myself I would only do photography for what I want to do. It is funny I have had multiple offers to get paid to do different things and have passed on all of them. The last thing I want to do is go down that path again.

I have recently done astro, landscape, cityscape, wildlife, flowers/macro, pics of my family and dogs and am open to shooting anything I find interesting. My emphasis is on wildlife but I don't want to limit myself to just that as I like you I run the risk of getting bored with it. A suggestion would be have you tried a different type of photography? Maybe something you haven't done? Something that creates a new challenge? For me I enjoy researching and buying gear (not paying for), learning how to use it, and working on capturing an image I don't have and even when I do, challenging myself to do even better when given the opportunity.

I have found that I love photographing hummingbirds, I did a little research and found there are 300 species of hummingbirds and around 20 or so species reside in the USA. Costa Rica has 52 species. This has given me a path to work on capturing what I can in the USA and it has been a dream to go to Costa Rica with Steve. For me this gives me excitement and something to work towards. First step is to acquire the gear I need to maximize my trips (one lens to go and I am done with that), second is researching and traveling to locations to capture them (been doing this already) and using that experience to reach a skill level that leads me to the final step of spending the money to go to Costa Rica and other more remote locations to capture more species and or improve my shots.

Having this as a passion project for example gives me some focus, something to look forward to and the rest of the time other subjects fill the time.

I think this will keep me motivated to get out and get up early! Saturday I was up at 7am to shoot flowers, Sunday up at 1am to drive 2.5 hours each way to shoot the milky way. Last week I spent an extra 1.5 days in FL after a work trip to shoot wildlife and got a bonus of seeing and shooting the space x rocket, and the week before that visiting family in CA and shot a bunch of hummingbirds all while learning the new Sony a1. Now we have bad weather for a week and I have about 900 images I have selected to edit.

Sure hope you don't quit, if you do find something else to grab your interest. Nothing worse than just becoming a couch potato.

 

[Marcus Slade]

Respectfully, your comments read as a brave admission that, perhaps, many of us would struggle to make.

Though I was born in England, our family spent some time in The US when my father had a post there many moons ago. One of my earliest pictures, taken with a Kodak Instamatic 126, was of the Apollo 11 Saturn V rocket, quietly sitting on the launch gantry in June 1969 about three weeks before its historic liftoff. My father was a pretty good photographer in his day and I certainly count him as an influence, along with the timely early birthday present of that camera. It was nearly 10 years after that date when I got my first "real camera", an Olympus OM1 (which I still have). The earnings from a summer job paid for that camera which seemed like a small fortune at the time. For the following ten years+ I was then quite active with that camera plus an OM2n.

From the get-go I always had an aspiration to photograph wildlife which, frankly, went largely unfulfilled until the last six years. As work, family and children consumed more time, photography fell further behind. Ironically, the early days of digital probably squashed my serious interest yet further. I maintained a series of steadily better digital point and shoots until I got that much more "serious" with a Nikon D750. That purchase sprang from a planned trip to South Africa, the last five days of which were a safari. Those five days were simply unbelievable for my wife and me. I remember debating before the trip, "do I or don't I splurge for the Nikkor 200-500". Fortunately, I did. Like many others here on the forum, I'm all in with an assortment of equipment and typically, pondering the next addition.

Living on the Canadian west coast is a huge plus. As others have said, I too simply enjoy being outside and the older I get, more so. I just don't want to lose that sense of wonder at being out in the natural world. I love to run, cycle and hike and am fortunate to have some great friends with which to share those activities. The pandemic has only heightened that sense of gratitude at being outside. There's no question I always want to get out with the camera but even when the shots don't come, I realize that I'm simply better off (healthier in all modes?) for being out in the natural world.

I would hypothesize that many here on the forum have wide and eclectic interests between their work, their photography (particularly if that's not their work) and a host of other pursuits. If that description fits you, I would encourage you to yield to the sway of those interests. Even within photography, and as broad a topic as it encompasses, I find my attention and focus wander constantly between researching locations, species, post processing techniques, gear, printing, learning new software and simply going back and reviewing past pictures at times. There are times I just want to read, listen to music, cook, build something or just have a coffee with friends.

I will offer a concluding thought that might stir a little controversy. Not a day goes by when someone somewhere in the media will say something like "identify your passion and follow it". In general, I couldn't disagree more strongly. If you have and you know what that is, I salute and admire you. However, how many people out there are feeling frustrated or inadequate because they aren't living according to someone else's mantra of following a passion. I would say I have encountered far more people in my life who really don't know what that "passion" is per se. It's a rare child that knows exactly what he or she wants to do when they grow up...and actually does it. Most of us try, morph or get into a series of endeavours in life, typically to put food on the table and a roof over our heads.

I have never identified with having a passion: I have very much identified with the idea of having enthusiasms (many of them), photography being just one of them and I feel my life is better balanced. Passions find you: you find enthusiasms. I think people in general would be better served by "liking what they do" as opposed to "doing what they like".

 

[Ralph]

Thanks to all for your responses. The earliest photo of me with a camera in my hand was when I was 18 months old, over 63 years ago. I've always found that photography went with whatever hobby interest I had at the time and I've had times where other things got in the way or I just burned out and put it down for a while. I've made a couple of bucks from time to time but found early on the pennies weren't worth the time and aggrevation so the day job has always paid for the hobby. Seems like more often lately I'm hearing "You should have been here yesterday" or "you left too early" and I seem to be missing the few times where something of interest is occurring. I've learned that when something isn't working for me, it's usually because I should be doing something else.
I know it's the nature of my subject, osprey lead boring lives for the most part. They spend their days mostly sitting and conserving energy. This time of year they seem to be a little more active re-building their nests and mating, but fact is, they mostly sit. Years ago, the herring would run upstream and the resultant feeding frenzies could be observed daily, now it seems like if it happens at all, it's a minute or two here or there and you have to be lucky enough to be there.
For the most part, I prefer to be out in nature though standing ankle deep in marsh muck for 12 hours a day is just one reason I'm questioning what I'm doing....

Hi Warren,

My suggestion is to just take a break. It’s not necessary or worth it to put in 50-60 hrs on a weekend to get a nice photograph. But don’t give it up. There will always be situations where you wish you were there to catch a shot but that’s not always possible. When I got married back in the 80’s and started a family, nature photography took a back seat to everything else. Sure , I kept taking photos, but mostly of my kids, their friends and scenic shots when on vacation. And I didn’t use a DSLR, I used point and shot all-in-ones (super zooms). I never owned a DSLR until the spring of 2019. I agree with Steve in that it’s about getting out in nature, taking a break from everything else and maybe along the way you get a nice couple of shots. I haven’t spent any more than 2 or 3 hours on a Saturday over the past three months to photograph wildlife, mostly birds. And even then, I feel the guilt of leaving my wife and son, who is disabled and lives with us, behind. So now I bring my son with me. And I think he really enjoys coming along since he is not able to do his regular activities because of COVID. I think what I trying to say is that you don’t have to be consumed by it. Do other things, and when you have a spare couple of hours go shoot some nature. Don’t make your hobby a job.

 

[MikEm13]

I see myself in so many of these responses. Warrend D, thanks for posting this. I'll take away a lot of positivity from this thread.

 

[Rodamu]

It may help to first find a need for your photos; this helped me. There are many nonprofits that need volunteer photos for their internet pages, newsletters, etc. If nature is your passion, you can volunteer for an environmental group or your can take photos to post as observartions on iNaturalist website. For the later, you can take photos of plants and animals where ever you find them or you can go to a park, nature preserve, or public lands--forest, desert whatever. Along the way I have taken some great photos; discovered the beauty of dragonflies, beetles, flowers, etc. A "photo for record or reporting" can often be outstanding and provide new challenges. Also you can make use of different lenses and other gear depending on your subject matter while you are not stressing the get the perfect or unique shot of a subject every time.
If you don't have time to travel; look for organizations nearby that may want photos: a soccer league, a dance group, dirt track race association, whatever.
The current cameras all take videos; try that. Post them on Youtube or elsewhere and you may make some money.

 

[Whiskeyman]

There certainly is a lot going on in this thread, and it reminds me of advice I received a long time ago: "Remove or reduce the negative motivators in your life, from your life. Enhance the positive ones."

In other words, step away from photography, or how you are going about photography, and assess the impact this has upon your life and well being. Maybe you need to completely give it up, or maybe you just need to review and change your expectations of what you want to get out of photography. Maybe you need a new hobby; if you feel compelled to continue to spend lots of money, take up flying!

As far as how I would resolve the issue if I felt as you do, I'd seek out others that have similar interests in photography, and try to enjoy it with them. Maybe you could learn something from them to enable you to enjoy it again, or maybe you'll end up being a mentor to someone and find great satisfaction in that effort. I'd also change the way I went about it and spend less time at it.

As far as faulting your equipment purchases for being unable to retire, all I'll say is that would likely take a lot more gear than most realize to accomplish.

 

[Carlito FE2]

Here is my $0.02 (and worth everybit!)
I agree with the comments above that it may be time to step away from the type of photograrphy you are doing. Many things may be affecting the ospreys that are outside your control and if you are only feeling successful when you get the "killer shot," then you may have disappointment added to disappointment. For most of us, creativity can not be forced, and changing your routine can re ignite some passion.

As has also been said, there are much more expensive hobbies than Photography, so as much as you can, let the money go.

You may want to just spend a few weeks going back over your old images--really look at them and see if you can feel the excitement the moment you pressed the shutter release. I know for myself, some of my favorite images put me right back in the moment (emotionally as well as physically) If you find some of those special images, please post them. I love to look at other peoples photos, knowing how hard it was to capture them--and to give me something to strive for.

Not to be alarmist, but check for other signs of depression. Loss of enjoyment in things that you love can be an important first sign. If you are having new problems with sleeping, eating, energy, might be something else going on.

Hope you are feeling better soon

Karl

 

[splatbass]

From 1980 to the mid 90s I was very serious about photography (although being young I didn't have the money to get into it as much as I wanted). Then for some reason I just lost interest. I got a point and shoot for family type stuff and maybe the occasional vacation, but didn't do it as a hobby for the next 15 or so years. Then around 2012, at the age of 51, I got the bug again. I bought a DSLR and haven't looked back. Sometimes you just need a break I guess. Maybe take a little time off and maybe after a short break you'll be ready again.

 

[jeffnles1]

@Steve and I have commented before that our journey into photography has taken similar turns. @WarrenD, I sure wish I could give a simple answer to your questions. However, only you can answer that question for yourself. All I can do is share my story in hopes it may help you.

I have loved being out in nature all of my life (at least all of my life that I remember). I grew up wading in creeks turning over stones looking for worms, crayfish and anything I could find. I started identifying birds after my dad bought me a field guide. In the late 1970's I got a 35mm SLR (Minolta) and some lenses. I bought these things called extension tubes to help close focus. My world changed in an instant when I got my slides back from the processor. I've been hooked on macro photography of wildflowers since.

My photography did; however, take pretty much of a 36 year break as I was building a career. I spent 60-70 hours every week for those 36 years inside a concrete office building with windows overlooking other concrete office buildings. I can tell you all anyone would ever care to know about burnout, the impact it has on your health (emotional and physical), relationships, yes, even sex life. Extreme stress and burnout are not good things.

Steve said it perfectly when he said photography is a means to an end. I, too, just love being out in nature. I rarely go out looking to photography a specific subject. The most specific I will get is "I think I'll shoot macro wildflowers today". However, if a group of deer present themselves, I'm throwing on the tele lens and getting them in the viewfinder.

I don't do photography for the sake of photography, I do it as a way to capture a memory and to be able to share it with others. Over the past 4 years I've been retired, my photography has taken on an added meaning. I want to share the beauty of nature with others and hopefully get them as excited about it as I am. I firmly believe the desire to preserve our natural world starts with appreciating the beauty, then progresses to curiosity, and lastly goes to the desire to preserve that which we find beautiful and intriguing. I use my photography to spark that interest in others.

One thing in your story that caught my eye was you focus on Osprey. They are indeed beautiful birds. Maybe it would do you some good to get out and photograph landscapes, flowers, other birds, deer, etc. Maybe you've just reached a point where the Osprey no longer "do it" for you.

Now, if you have a Nikon 500mm PF that you're thinking of giving to me, well, then I would say absolutely give up photography, it's evil. I'll send my mailing address right over to you. (haha, that was supposed to be a joke).

Warren, hope you figure it out and get out of the blues.